Laws of Power – 43

Work on the hearts and minds of others: Coercion creates a reaction that will eventually work against you. You must seduce others into wanting to move in your direction. A person you have seduces becomes your loyal pawn. And the way you seduce others is to operate on their individual psychologies and weaknesses. Soften up the resistant by working on their emotions, playing on what they hold dear and what they fear. Ignore the hearts and minds of others and they will grow to hate you.

This takes discipline and patience to achieve positive results. I think the common pitfall is to become too comfortable, too much like a friend to the people you wish to influence. When you do this, you effectively lower your defenses, weaken your position, erode your facade. You cannot grouse, you cannot self-disclose, you cannot reveal too much that is personal or part of some Machiavellian plot lest you snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

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